Day 31: My First Try as a Book Club Facilitator

I am a huge fan of book clubs.  I love to read.  I love to be around other people that love to read.  And I love to read books that I never would have read otherwise. 

I have attended dozens of book club meetings.  However, I have never organized or led my own book club.

I am an officer for my school's skeptics/freethinkers group.  I decided that this would be a good group for me to lead a book club with.  I like being around other freethinkers and atheists, most of whom enjoy reading.  So I organized a book club meeting through facebook.  Today was the day of our first meeting.

Result:  I think it went well.  We met in a common gathering space in one of the buildings.  I thought this was a good idea at the time, but I soon realized that I should try to secure a classroom for us to use.  However, we did possibly gain a new member who overheard us discussing religion and atheism.  I read Chapter 1 beforehand and had several discussion points to use from the chapter.  Seven other people showed up, which is a pretty good number for a book club meeting.  We had enough to talk about for the hour that I had allotted for the book club meeting.

Overall, I think it was a good meeting :-) And I am proud of myself for taking the leadership role with this! :-)

Day 30: A Missed Book Club Meeting

Today, I had planned on going to a book club meeting for the book in the above picture.  I've really enjoyed the book, but I still have 100 pages to read (this book is LONG).  So, I skipped the book club meeting.

Result:  I could have gone to the meeting, but after an eventful and busy week, I really just wanted to stay home and relax all day.  I very easily could have beat myself up for not going to the meeting (and I came close to doing so several times), but I just kept reminding myself that I would be much better off mood-wise if I let myself just stay home, relax, and catch up on some school stuff. 

All in all, failing to go to the meeting was a good call :-)

Day 29: A Spinach Quesadilla

Today, I allowed my boyfriend to choose our location to have lunch.  I'm a vegetarian, so usually I choose the place.  But I was feeling adventurous (yes, eating at an unknown location is a risk for me), so I let him choose.

He chose a Mexican restaurant.  I was apprehensive.  But, like I said, I was feeling adventurous, so I chose a food that I am very picky about. 

The quesadilla.

What if there's too much cheese?  What if the spinach isn't good?  What if there's too many peppers and onions?  Obviously, a quesadilla is a difficult food to get right in my eyes.  So I usually avoid it. 

Result:  My adventurous-ness paid off.  It was the best quesadilla I've ever had.  I couldn't freakin' believe it!

Folks, sometimes it pays off to be adventurous.

Day 28: Burlesque

Today I went to a Burlesque show with my boyfriend and some friends.  It was at a place in Atlanta called The Shelter.  I had never been to the venue.  What if it's a dump?  What if there's hardly anyone there?  Or too many people there? 

I had never been to a Burlesque show.  What if it's not really a Burlesque show?  What if I don't have fun? 

Obviously, I worry a lot.  And usually I let my worries make my decisions. But that's why I started this project--because I'm tired of letting my worries and fears always win.  If I listened to my worries all of the time, I probably wouldn't leave my house.  (Seriously.)

Result:

I went to the Burlesque show.  And I had fun!  It was a cool venue with a very diverse crowd.  I really liked the costumes, and it was cool to see dancers with such confidence. 

And now I know what pasties are!

Day 27: Drag me to Hell? Hell, no!

Today, I decided to watch this movie, Drag Me to Hell, with my boyfriend.  He said that he enjoyed it, and that I would probably like it.

Result:  I failed miserably at watching this movie.  I lasted maybe 35 minutes watching this movie.  Anyone that knows me knows that I HATE gorey movies.  I hate anything with blood, surgery, guts, anything like that. 

This movie by far was the grossest, nastiest movie I've ever seen.  I don't know WHAT he was thinking by thinking that I would like it!

And yet, strangely enough, a big part of me wants to watch it again.  On my own.  Because if I can get through this movie, I can get through ANY movie.

Day 26: Sleep Anyone?

Today, I had planned on getting a lot of things done.  Catch up on the NY Times, read a book for a book club, make some craft cards for today's project.

I got none of these things done.  Why?  Because I took a nap at 2pm.  I thought it would just be a 2 hour nap. 

5.5 hours later, I wake up.  Whoops!!!

Without intending to, I failed at taking a short nap and at having a fairly productive day.  I did get my readings done for my science class, though.

Result:  At first I was pissed that I took such a long nap. But then later, when I realized I could use my nap for today's fail project, I felt much relieved. So yay for napping!

Day 25: How to Succeed and Fail at the Same Time

In cognitive psychology, my professor gives pop quizzes. A classmate of mine told me that he tends to quiz on material that we will be learning the day of the quiz. So, in preparation of today's possible pop quiz, I studied chapter 3 and read the article listed for today's date on the syllabus.

We did have a quiz today. However, the quiz was on chapter 1, which I had not read, and on an article by Noam Chomsky, which I hadn't read.

That's how I failed. I read the wrong material. I also failed in the sense that I was worried all freakin' day about this pop quiz.

So how did I succeed? I got a 100 on the quiz! I didn't even read the material, and I was able to figure out the right answers to the questions.

So that is how I failed and succeeded at the same time :-)

Day 24: All Your Brainz R Belong to Us

I am still (kind of) addicted to the computer game Plants vs. Zombies.  There was one level that I could not get past.  And since I hate failing, I would only try a couple of times before giving up.  A couple of days later, I would try again.  And give up.

So today, I decided to conquer this level and give myself an hour to see if I could get through the level.

Result:

It took me 26 minutes to accomplish the level.  Surprisingly enough, after a while I didn't mind failing so much.  I just kind of accepted that I was going to fail.  And then, eventually, I got through it and beat it!  It felt pretty damn good, both to let myself fail and to accomplish the level through simple trial and error.

Day 23: Overcoming (Some) Food Fears

Anyone that knows me knows that I have some weird food habits.  Today, while with friends at a birthday party, I decided to make today my day to challenge some eating habits.

First, I decided to try a new food--egg drop soup.  I hate trying new foods.  It's like I think something bad will happen to me if I try a food that I don't like. 

Second, I decided not to eat my foods one at a time. For example, I had broccoli, rice, and tofu. Normally I would eat the broccoli, then the tofu, then the rice.  Once again, it's as though I think something bad will happen if I mix up my food by not eating food categories one at a time. Instead, I chose to eat things not individually.

Third, I decided to try three new foods at SunO, an Asian dessert place near Atlanta--vanilla custard, a tea drink with tapioca balls, and some other custardy-type thingy.  Usually, once I go somewhere and try something and like it, I will continue to get that same thing every time.  But today, I chose only to get things that I hadn't tried before.

Result: 

I didn't like the egg drop soup.  I gave it to a friend.  I didn't die.

I mixed my food groups.  I actually enjoyed it.  And I didn't self-combust, contrary to what I always thought would happen. Of course I'm exaggerating, but your mind will believe near anything sometimes.

I ate new things at SunO.  And I liked my foods for the most part, although I probably won't get them again.

All in all, it was a good day of failing :-)  I couldn't have done it without the support of my friends!



Day 22: A Birthday Party

Today's challenge involved going to a friend's birthday party.  How could going to a friend's birthday party be a challenge?  When you are a chronic worrier and have an active imagination, it is definitely possible to think that you might fail while going to a birthday party.

What if I don't have fun?  What if there's so many people that there's nowhere for me to sit, and I start to feel claustrophic?  What if I'm not in a good mood and have a terrible time?  What if no one REALLY likes me and they don't want me to be there? (that last one was the result of a kind of emo week)

I sucked it up, got out of bed, and went to the party despite all of these worries and fears.

Result:  I had a GREAT time! And all of these worries and fears of failing by not having fun at the party did not come to manifest as true. 

I am silly.

Day 21: Human Population Growth Part 2

Today, I decided to go ahead and study Module 2 for my Science 1102 class on human population growth.  I was feeling tired and still not quite recovered from a week-long cold.  I also was leaving soon to go see my boyfriend.  Would I be able to study and take the online quiz in time?

I sucked it up, got through the material, and took the quiz.

Result:  I got a 100 on the quiz. Score!

Failing is proving to be more difficult than I had expected.  I know it's because I'm not choosing things that are difficult enough.

Day 20: Teacher's Pet

Today consisted of my 2nd Cognitive Psychology class of Spring semester.  During lectures, most professors will ask students questions about the material, upon which student(s) will answer if they think they know the correct answer.

Yesterday, I correctly answered several questions in my Abnormal Psychology class.  Part of me was worried. What if my classmates think I'm a teacher's pet? A know it all? What if they think that I stay at home and study for hours a day? (which I don't!)

So today, my teacher asked several questions, all of which I knew the answers for. Again, the same questions entered my mind.  What if they think I'm a teacher's pet? What if they don't like me because I'm always the one that speaks out?  Or worse yet, what if I am incorrect and get the answer wrong?

Although these thoughts were present, I reminded myself that, honestly, I'm not in school to make friends. If it happens, it happens. But overall, I'm there to get into grad school. I'd rather be on my professors' sides than on my classmates' sides.

So, when my teacher asked these psychology questions for which he wanted the correct answer, I pushed these thoughts away. When no one else answered, I did.

Result:  I got all of the questions right. And I felt like a bad ass :-) I don't sit in the front row of my psych classes for nothing!

Day 19: Failing at Failing Still = Failing

Today, I decided to fail at my own project by not doing a failing project for the day.  After dealing with a cold all week, I felt like just taking the day off.

Result:  I'm glad I took the day off. I just hope that one day doesn't turn into several days thereafter.  I know how I am sometimes, and it would be all too easy for me just to give up and stop this project.  Hopefully I won't let that happen.

Day 18: Headed to Class

Today marks the beginning of my spring semester of college.  After continuing my evening reading of "Pour Your Heart Into It" by Howard Schultz, I began to question my entire college career path.  Such anxiety caused me to lay awake in bed, contemplating the meaning of my existence. Add this to the fact that I had a sore throat and was woe-some about having caught a cold.  As a result of these thoughts and circumstances, I only got about 2 hours of sleep last night.  So this morning, when my alarm inevitably went off, I strongly considered sleeping in and not going to class.

What if I am unable to stay awake?

What if I feel like crap all day as a result of not getting enough sleep?

What if my cold gets worse, and I realize that I should have skipped class?

Despite much resistance and fear, I pushed these thoughts aside and got out of bed.  I proceeded to school, fully knowing that the day that lies ahead of me may, in fact, suck ass.

Result:  I attended my first class.  It is currently 11:45am, and despite my many fears and worries, I feel relatively okay.  I could feel better.  I could feel worse.  But all in all, I am okay, and I am glad that I went to class.

Day 17: Human Population Growth

Today, I decided to begin work for my Science 1102 class, which is a class that is 100% online.  Part of the class entails online quizzes, composed of 5 questions with 3 minutes allotted for each question.  We are given 3 1/2 days to complete the quiz.

The first unit for the course is about human population growth and its various components and calculations. I wanted to go ahead and read the material, study the material based on the outline provided online, and take the quiz. But I had recently acquired a sore throat.

sore throat = grumpy mood

I didn't want to take the chance of possibly not getting a 100% on the online quiz. But I also didn't want to procrastinate and not get the quiz done.

Result:  I sucked it up and read and studied the material, which was not an easy task. I then took the online quiz. The quiz was MUCH easier than I was expecting. I don't yet know the grade that I received on the quiz, but I am fairly confident that I earned a 100. :-)  The task was a success.

Day 16: Interpreting Heidegger

I am currently taking Existentialism this semester.  Our first assignment is to write a response based on Heidegger's essay "What is Metaphysics?"  During the semester, we are allowed not to post two weeks of our choosing.  I was very tempted just to skip this assignment by either not reading the essay and/or not writing a response to the essay.  However, for today's project I decided not only to read the essay but also to post a response about the essay aforementioned.

Result:  Once I got into the essay and began to grasp what the author was saying, I enjoyed this assignment.  I enjoyed interpreting what he meant by being and nothing.  I enjoyed writing a response that addresses the various philosophical ideas he presents in the essay.  Overall, a very good result :-)

Anyone who cares to read my reading response (450 words) can send me a facebook message, and I will gladly send them my response to the essay.

Day 13: Slap Bracelets

For day 13 projects, I decided to finally use a craft project that I got for Christmas over a year ago. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get the bracelets to look good.

Result:  The kit made it VERY easy to decorate the slap bracleets. I got bored after a while since there were 7 bracelets in the kit. And I have no idea what I'm going to do with them, but I'm glad that I finally decorated them. All in all a good project :-)

Day 15: Plants vs. Zombies

I have been playing this game a LOT for the last couple of days. Today, I attempted the Puzzles and Mini Challenges section of this computer game. Usually when I play computer or video games, I give up very quickly when I can't solve something or get past a certain level. So today, when I would fail a level, I made myself keep trying.

Result:  Despite the extreme frustration of failing multiple times throughout certain levels, I made myself keep trying. As a result, I completed many levels, and I learned how to get through the levels using different techniques. Who knew playing a computer game could be such a good experience?

Day 14: Icy Road Driving

Today, I decided to venture out of my house and go drive to Lawrenceville to see my boyfriend. I hadn't left my subdivision in 5 days, and I was ready to see the rest of the world outside of my house. I do not like to do things that are potentially risky, so I was taking a risk of not driving well in the potentially icy conditions.

Note:  If the roads had been SERIOUSLY hazardous, I would not have left my house. But based on traffic reports and the reports of other friends, I knew that I would probably make it to his place safely.

Result:  Overall, the roads were not bad. I encountered few areas of icy roads, and I did not have any scary moments or close calls.

Day 12: Core Work



Today I decided to do core work based on a workout in a Runner's World magazine. I really didn't think it would be a very good workout/exercise; hence, the failure would be getting a crappy workout and wasting my time.

Result:  I did the exercises, and it actually turned out to be a good workout! It was challenging and yet enjoyable. The exerices only took 15 minutes, so I finished the workout with P90X's Ab-X. That was the most difficult ab workout I've ever done! All in all, a possible failure turned out to be a success.

Day 11: Bookmark Making

Today, I went into the basement and went through some of my old craft stuff. I found lots of good stuff, including stuff to make bookmarks. So that is what I decided to do today while watching South Park episodes.  I was afraid that they would look like crap, but I pushed through the fear and made some anyways.

Result:  I had a lot of fun making them! They may not be wonderful works of art or the best bookmarks ever handmade, but I'm pleased with how they came out.

And thanks to the encouragement of some friends, I posted a picture of what I made :-) And not a picture of some bookmarks I found online.

Day 10: Sledding!

 

Today, I decided to go sledding. We received around 6 inches of snow in metro Atlanta, which happens less than once a decade.

How is this related to failure? I didn't have a sled, so I took the advice of a Canadian friend and used a piece of cardboard. Would it really work? Most importantly, would I be the complete klutz that I am and bust my ass?

I started off on a VERY small hill. That didn't work. Then I attempted my neighbor's driveway. Again, that didn't work. Then I attempted my driveway, which is definitely steep. That worked and was fun. Then, my neighbor suggested I try her driveway, which is REALLY steep. I did, and it was super freakin' fun!

So I was scared and afraid and thought for sure I would hurt myself. But I tried it anyway, and had a lot of fun! And best of all, I didn't injure myself.

Day 9: Making Stationery

Today, I decided to decorate some paper and make stationery.  I simply used stickers, for I just wanted to do something quick and easy.

Result:  I can't say that I made the most beautiful paper for letter writing ever, but I did spruce up some paper that I never would have used otherwise. I didn't set out to make anything magnificent, so each time I think that this paper isn't up to par, I will remind myself that I'm just taking baby steps, one at a time.

Day 8: Spirograph

For today's project, I decided to use my new spiral art design kit, aka a 2010 version of the '80s Spirograph (those things ruled!).  I was afraid that whatever I would make would look like crap.  But why buy it if you're too scared to use it?

Result:  It took me a little bit to figure out how to use it, which made me feel like an idiot. But all in all, it was fun :-) I certainly didn't create anything like the image shown above, but who knows, maybe someday I will be able to :-)

Day 7: Playing the Guitar

(Disclaimer:  This is a year old picture.  I no longer look like this lol.  And I own an acoustic guitar.

This picture is merely to add emphasis to this blog post.)

Today, I decided to pick up my guitar and continually play John Denver's "Goodbye Again."  I, being a huge John Denver fan, only play on the guitar John Denver songs. So I thought I would spend half an hour or so working on mastering this chosen song.

Result:  Years of extremely sparse guitar playing have caused calluses and finger muscles to decline. It took a mere 10 minutes or so (not including the 15 minutes it took me to properly tune my guitar) for me to give up on the song.  Not  because I don't like the song, but because I HATE TO FAIL.  Hence why I need this project now more than ever! 

Obviously my guitar playing still needs some work....

Day 6: Toastmasters

Today's project involved giving my 8th speech (Using Visual Aids was the guideline) to my Toastmasters group.  I gave a presentation using the powerpoint presentation I created for one of my psychology classes last semester.  I talked about how self-accepting statements may be useful for people diagnosed with depression.

Result:  I talked too fast, and I didn't win Best Speaker.  I was mad I didn't win, but at least I went through with it and didn't cancel doing my speech!

Day 5: Card Making

For today's project, I decided to make cards from a card making kit I've had for at least a year.

Result: It was easy, fun, and now I have 4 birthday cards that I can use :-)

Day 4: An Evening as Keith Haring

After watching a documentary on the life of artist Keith Haring, I decided to copy one of his pieces of art.  I chose the image seen above.

Result:  I thought that the hardest part to copy would be the interlocking arm figures; however, the most difficult figures were the ones on the top and bottom left corner.  I could never quite get them to resemble human-like bodies. 

When I look at the drawing I created, although it doesn't quite resemble the original, it brings an internal smile to my brain :-)  Today's project was a success!

Day 3: Choreographed Dancing

For today's project, I chose choreographed dancing.  I figured it would be a good way not only to guarantee failure but also to get some exercise. 

I suck at dancing, especially choreographed dancing.  My hips just don't work like that; they are stiff and not graceful in the slightest.

I begrudgingly made it through the 37 minutes and 48 seconds, the whole time reminding myself that it's okay to fail.

End result:  I succeeded at my goal of failing.  I also finally accepted the fact that not only is it okay that I suck at dancing, but also it's okay that I choose never to do this workout ever again!

Day 2: My Try at Poker

For my 2nd day of this project, I decided to play Texas Hold 'Em poker with my boyfriend.  I had never played before; he plays quite frequently.  So I expected myself to fail miserably.  If it were not for this project, I doubt that I would have attempted to play this game, for I hate to fail. But, having entered this game with a mindset for failure, I gave it a shot.

Result:  I had fun. AND I WON!!!! I won all of his money :-) We weren't playing for real money, since I thought I would surely lose all of my money.  But you can bet that I will play this game again!

This goes to show you that I underestimate myself quite a lot.

Onto the next attempt at failure, whatever that may entail...

Day 1: A Haiku

For my first day at this project, I decided to write a haiku. A haiku follows a 5-7-5 format, where the first line is 5 syllables, the second line is 7 syllables, and the third line is 5 syllables.  I told my boyfriend that he could choose the subject for my haiku.  He, with his fondness for squirrels, chose the topic of squirrels.  Here follows my haiku:

Squirrels

Bushy tails go "Thump!"

All frolicking through the park

I hear them go "Plop!"

You might wonder, "How can someone fail at writing a haiku?"  It's easy.  If you expect yourself to write the best haiku imaginable, a quite insurmountable task, you will never attempt to write a haiku.  However, if you expect yourself to fail at writing a good haiku, you have no expectations for yourself.

Result:  a chance to stretch your creative muscles while adhering to the 5-7-5 format.  It was a fun activity :-)