Day 171: No Trivia.

I had planned on going to trivia in Atlanta with friends tonight.

Result:  I took a nap and didn't wake up until 15 minutes before it starts.  And I live almost an hour from there, so it would have been kinda pointless for me to go.  So instead, I drove to Alpharetta to take care of a cat I'm petsitting for, and I chilled there for a while.  That was nice because the kitty is so friendly, and I hadn't seen her in probably a year.  Then when I headed home, I chatted with some friends and read some books and caught up with some stuff online. 

So even though I didn't make it to trivia, I still had a good evening :-)

Day 170: Homebody Day

Yesterday was my mom's birthday, and today was Father's Day.  So my parents and I were going to go see the movie Super 8 and go to a favorite local Italian restaurant.

Result:  We didn't go.  My mom has chronic pain, and she wasn't feeling well, so the plans were cancelled.  To be honest, I really wasn't expecting for us to go.  My parents are homebodies, and so I usually don't hold my breath on us going out any time soon.

So I spent the day at home.  And I didn't really enjoy it.  After being in a relationship for 7 months, I was used to spending my weekends not at home alone.  So I pretty much just moped at home wishing that I was somewhere doing something.  I'm sure I could have found something to do if I really made myself, but I didn't.  Oh well!

Day 169: Billiards Fun

Today I went to Twain's in Decatur with some friends to play some pool. 

Result:  I kicked ass the first game.  After that, each game got progressively worse.  Yet my teammate and I won every game either through skill or default.  Even though I was terrible, I told myself it was okay, and I let myself have fun regardless of my less than spectacular playing skills.

Day 168: Exercise? What Exercise?

I go through phases where either I exercise regularly or I don't exercise at all.  Currently I am in the "don't exercise at all" phase.  It's been over a week since I last exercised.  Exercising makes me feel good--after it's over.  But lately, I would rather not exercise so that I can eat less (and lose weight) than exercise and eat more and probably not lose weight.

So far, it is working.  I'm losing weight without doing any exercise at all.  I'm not saying by any means that this is a good idea.  It's just what I'm deciding to do at the moment.

Day 167: Online Dating Woes

So, I rejoined okcupid a couple of weeks ago.

Result:  I conversed with this one guy back and forth on there.  Then he asked me if he could take me out to dinner.  I really wasn't interested in the guy at all, but I said okay. 

Fast forward to today.  We were going to go on a dinner date this evening.  I decided to cancel it because I like someone else and had no intentions of dating this guy at all.  So why let him get his hopes up?

Let's just say he didn't react well lol.  But I am glad that I decided not to go out with him.

I really need to stop meeting up with people that I don't really want to meet up with in the first place.

Day 166: No Trivia Tonight. Again.

I was planning on going to play trivia with friends in Decatur, and I was really looking forward to it.  Next thing I know, it's 30 minutes before I was going to leave, and it's super duper scary out there. 

Result:  I ended up not going to trivia.  Decatur is about 30 minutes from where I'm housesitting, and that's not including traffic jams or accidents or awful weather.

I was bummed I couldn't go, but I was also glad to be inside and not outside, far away from the house, in the middle of an awful thunderstorm.  So I watched movies and read, so it wasn't a bad evening at all :-)

Day 165: Patience May be a Virtue...

But why wait when you don't have to???

So, the guy I went on a date with on Sunday--we decided to see each other again Friday.  Well, we decided we didn't want to wait to see each other again, so we saw each other today (Tuesday) :-)

I sure am glad I said no to patience.

Day 164: Clothes Shopping

Today I needed to go pick up a medication.  That meant I had to actually get dressed and not stay in my pajamas all day.  I figured I might as well take advantage of this momentous occasion (getting dressed, okay so I'm exaggerating here lol) and do something else after picking up my one measly medication. 

There's so many things I could have done--seen a movie, volunteered somewhere, gone to the library, pick my nose...the opportunities were endless.  Instead, I decided to go to Forever 21 at the mall to do some clothes shopping.  I have very few tops that fit me anymore (most of them are too big now), and Forever 21 sometimes has some cute tops that actually look decent on me.

So I got myself all fired up to go clothes shopping.  I found several cute tops to try on, and...I ended up with one top that I liked.  And it's a strapless shirt, which means that I will very very rarely wear it in public because I am way too modest to wear such a shirt in public.  But it was cheap and cute and figured I could at least "practice" wearing it in my room or something.

So yeah, I was excited to try on some clothes and ended up leaving disheartened and feeling as though I am doomed to wear boring tops every day for the rest of my life.  However, I did get some super super cute shoes there.  So it wasn't all a lost cause.

Day 163: A First Date

Today I went on a first date with someone I met online recently.  I wasn't too nervous or worried because we had already been talking for several days before we met in person.  We met for dinner, and after dinner, the question was, "What to do next?"

There were several ways I could have failed and made a bad decision and had things take a wicked bad turn.  I could have gone to his house and he could have done something really bad to me.  Okay so that was the main worry on my mind lol. 

But I decided to go back to his house because I knew that this guy was way too nervous to try anything to harm me or make a move lol. 

Long long story short, things went well, and I made the right decision :-)  So taking a chance and risking a big fail paid off, because the evening couldn't have gone any better :-)

Day 162: I finally understand...

My entire life, I have always told myself (and other people) that I don't know the difference between a feeling that is coming from my gut and a feeling that is coming from fear.  That is a constant excuse that I use for my inability oftentimes to make a decision.  And I'm not using it as an excuse.  I seriously (usually) do not know if my thought is coming from fear or from my gut.

Finally, I have begun to realize that I AM capable of understanding the difference.  You see, my homonculus every now and then will give me a rather big tap on the shoulder and say, "Gina, you shouldn't do (fill in the blank)."  And seriously, every time I tell him to shut up, I should have listened to him.

What the hell am I talking about?  Well, I recently had rejoined some online dating sites.  I got a message from a guy saying "You're sexy.  What's up?"  Normally I would NEVER EVER reply to such a stupid and short and shallow message.  But the guy looked cute, and I figured, why not?  (Note to self:  advice from a friend is not always good advice.) 

Long story short, the guy turned out to obviously be a jerk.  We never met or anything like that, but it turned out to be a huge waste of time.

On a similar note, something happened recently where my homonculus was like, "You know that person you want to be friends with again possibly?  Yeah, you know that's a bad idea."  But again, I listened to my friend and decided why not and met the person for a meal.  Needless to say we're not friends anymore lol.

These events have helped me to realize that I'm not as incapable at knowing the difference between fear and the right action as I thought :-)

Day 159: My Gargantuan Fear of a Stupid Resume'

I still have not updated or sent out my resume' yet.  And I totally know that I am being ridiculous.  But I want to volunteer/intern at Ridgeview Institute SO badly that I am afraid that if I turn in my resume', and they say no, then I will feel my dream being crushed and it will be difficult not to feel hopeless or depressed after that.

I know that obviously they won't say yes if I don't turn in my resume' to them, but I really don't want to intern anywhere else.  And if they say no, I don't know what I will do. 

I read this book today because the author is a pro at helping people make career/vocation decisions and with updating resume's and such.  He has some really good templates for cover letters and resume's and such.  So I am definitely going to use this book to help me.  But honestly, reading it was another way for me to keep delaying updating my resume'.

Day 161: Google Guitar

As most people know, google "made" a computer guitar that you could do whatever with for a couple of days.  I'm a musical genius (hey, I can dream lol), so I was determined to figure out how to play this thing in a way that would be cool and awesome.

Result:  I figured out how to play the thing.  And I did make an awesome little diddly musical thing.  At least, I think it's awesome, and that's what really matters :-)  I recorded it and posted it on facebook.  I don't know how to get the link for it from that, soooo you will just have to take my word for it.  But I tell ya, I failed many many times trying to get this thing perfected.  And it was a good workout for my fingers too :-)

Day 160: A Dinner "Date"

So.  Today I had dinner with someone I dated back in September.  It's possible that this person will read this entry, but I don't care, it's my blog lol.  Things did not end well back when we dated, so I didn't talk to this guy for months until recently.  He asked if I would go out to dinner with him, so I said fine.

I was worried:  What if he wants to get back together with me?  What if he tries to hold my hand or even kiss me?  But I bit the bullet and went so that, if I needed to, I could let him know that I was not interested in dating him, neither now nor ever in the future.

Result:  The dinner went okay.  It didn't go good, and it didn't go bad, it went okay.  And that was just fine with me.  

Day 158: Pasta

I.  HATE.  TO.  COOK.  I know I say this all of the time, but I really really do hate to cook.  I would rather be doing anything else because for me, cooking is the least productive thing ever.  Then again, I have always had a negative relationship with food, so the less time I can spend around food, the better. 

Anyways, I got home late tonight from a meeting, and I was hungry.  I had gotten some pasta in a bag things from my school for free.  All I had to do was boil some water, put the pasta in the water, and let it sit for 3 minutes.  I took a can of tomato sauce and heated that up.  This took let's say about 15 minutes.  Not a lot of time technically, but when I'm hungry, I just want to get eating over with. 

So the point of this story is that I actually LIKED what I "cooked."  I was not expecting much.  And I know that this is not really a fail.  But I know it's really sad when you're proud of yourself for making some pasta that only takes 3 minutes to cook in boiling water!!! 

I am (almost) determined to have a better relationship with food as my goal for next year.  But I still have 6 months to decide about that.

Day 157: A New Book Club

I LOVE book clubs.  I love to read, and I love to be around other people who also like to read. So I joined a new book club.  So what could possibly be the problem?

It's amazing the things this little head of mine can think of and come up with.  What if I don't have fun?  What if I don't like the restaurant?  What if there's a ton of people and so then I feel overwhelmed and don't say anything?  It's at 6pm, so what if traffic really sucks and I get stuck in rush hour and I am really cranky when I get there?  Hey, I'm not proud of the thoughts I think, but at least I admit them lol.

So I went to the book club.  And you know what?  I had fun.  I mean, I do this to myself ALL OF THE TIME.  I even do it when it comes to trivia with friends.  I KNOW I will have fun, but I still always worry that maybe I won't.

So yeah, I am glad that I went.  And I liked the book too, which is always a plus :-)

Day 156: Games with Mikey

I love to hang out with my good friend Melissa and her son Mikey.  One of the things that Mikey loves to do is play games--checkers, Sorry, Monopoly, etc.  However, most of the time that we play board games or whatever type of games together, he wins.  And it is so frustrating!!! But today, I decided to go ahead and play several games with him.

Result:  I won several times!!!  He won as well.  I mean, I know I'm acting stupid here.  I'm getting upset about losing to a 7 year old.  But hey, my subconscious doesn't know that it's a 7 year old and not a 37 year old, right...?  Maybe some day I won't take it so personally when I lose a stupid game.  :-)

Day 155: OkCupid

Back before I started dating Carey, I was a member of okcupid.  I got several dates from it, and I even dated someone I met on the site for about a month.  I'm not necessarily in a hurry to start dating again, but at the same time, by not re-activating my account, I won't meet anyone from that site.  So I went ahead and re-activated my account.  And so far so good :-)

Day 154: Words With Friends

So.  I finally started playing Words With Friends instead of being intimidated by it. 

Result:  I am playing this with several friends.  Some games I am winning.  One game in particular I was losing very badly.  But I have accepted the fact that I won't get any better unless I keep playing.  And I have already improved dramatically :-)

Day 153: Breaking Up is Hard to Do...Or is It???

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months.  As time went on, I realized more and more that we had different values and priorities and interests. 

I could have failed in the sense that I could feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life.  But I don't feel that way.  I know that I did the right thing. 

Day 152: Resume'? What Resume'??

So, I need to update my resume' so that I can apply for a volunteer/intern position next semester for a Field Practicum class I'm taking.  I haven't updated my resume' in two years, and I need to make a resume' that is more tailored to the fact that I am in school and wish to pursue a career in the psychology field.  So I decided that I would update my resume' today.

Result:  Yeah, that didn't happen.  I'm just afraid of doing a crappy job and then not getting a position somewhere next semester, or at least not where I really want to volunteer.  I could do it in the morning since I woke up at freakin' 630am, and I don't have to leave for Atlanta until 12:30pm.  Will I actually update it today?  Only time will tell . . .

Day 151: Phlinx

I am in love with this online game.  It's really simple--you are given a colored ball in a launcher, and you have to shoot it at the balls above to make at least 3 connected together.  They go away, and you have to get a certain number of other balls loose in order to make it to the next round.  That's not a good explanation, but it's close enough.

I started with the easy level and have now been playing on the Expert level.  (You can choose which level you want to play.)  I could very easily play on a lower level so that I would always win or would be more likely to win.  But I actually like the challenge of playing the Expert level.  I fail much more often than I succeed, but . . . I'm actually okay with that :-)  I've finally found something I don't mind failing at lol.

Day 150: Words With Friends

Today I decided to take a chance and download and play Words With Friends.  I am terrible at Scrabble, and I very rarely play (since I'm terrible at it).

Result:  I downloaded it.  And then I took a look at it, and I just gave up right there.  I thought that I would be able to play all of my friends at once, I didn't know that it would be a game with one person at a time.  And if it's not just one person at a time, I couldn't figure that out.

So yeah, not only did I fail at not doing well at the game, I failed at even playing at all!  No biggie :-)