Day 57: Expelled

Today, I decided to watch Ben Stein's documentary "Expelled," which explores the debate of whether or not intelligent design and evolution are compatible.  Being an atheist, I heard of this documentary several times.  I thought surely the documentary can't be THAT bad.

Result:  I couldn't even watch the whole thing at once.  I'm currently watching the last 15 minutes while catching up on stuff on the internet.  I can't pay attention to both, but distraction is the only way that I can get through the rest of this documentary.

This documentary is full of propoganda, inserting all kinds of clips and videos that have nothing to do with what he is trying to say.  If he just removed all of the black and white clips that he inserted, the video would be much smaller.  What does the Berlin Wall have to do with intelligent design?  Nothing!  He's just trying to say that scientists are waging a war against intelligent design; they say that the two don't go together.  I completely agree with them, but I was open to watching the documentary to see what he and other people had to say.  I can't say that I learned anything insightful from this documentary, other than the fact that it pissed me off. 

The ultimate moment for me of this documentary was when he said that Planned Parenthood's mission was a form of social Darwinism; they sought to disallow people in the lower economic status from having babies.  That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard.  So I guess that means that there shouldn't be clinics in developing or third world countries where they can get free contraceptives.  Because of course, if the man wants to have a baby, then the woman has no say in the matter.  I could go on and on about this, since I just learned about all of the subject of birth rates and such this semester in my environmental science class.

Anyways, I liked this documentary in the sense that it got me really fired up, and it was interesting for me to see how I reacted while watching it.  Ugh.

Day 56: Cooking

(Note:  This is a picture from the internet.  This looks different from what I made, but it does look yummy!)

Anyone that knows me knows that I don't cook.  Ever.  My idea of cooking is making macaroni and cheese, and even that is too much for me sometimes.  If I'm hungry, I want to eat; if I'm not hungry, I don't want to be making food for when I will eat.  I am happy to eat food that other people make; I am not happy making food.  I think it's a simple concept, and I just don't understand how cooking can be fun.  But then again, it's probably because I've had issues with food since middle school.

Anyways, today I decided to make what I consider to be cooking a meal.  This consisted of leftover spaghetti and corn.  I heated up pasta sauce on the stove and then added the leftover spaghetti to it.  I also heated up canned corn on the stove.  You may think that this is super easy and what's the big deal, but I literally don't know the last time I've ever spent this much time on preparing a meal.  It's possible that I never ever have.  I guess that's what happens when you grow up in a household where your mom does all of the cooking!

Result:  I was super worried that I would burn the sauce, or the corn, or the spaghetti.  Or that by the time I got the food into bowls, it would be cold.  I can't say that I enjoyed cooking, I mean, I'm super impatient.  But I will say that the food came out really well! I was really proud of myself :-) Afterwards, I wished that I took a picture of it! This was a momentous occasion.

I was proud of my creation, but I can't say that I will do it again any time soon.  Heating up canned food is the extent of my culinary tolerance.

Day 55: Sick Day

Today, I still felt like crap.  I have been sick on and off for 5 days, which to me feels like an eternity.  So I said screw it to my 2 oclock psychology class.  And I also cancelled on going out to eat with a friend.

Result:  I'm okay with the fact that I accomplished not much today.  That's what I do when I don't feel good.

Day 54: Petsitting Fail

Today was the 2nd day of me taking care of two boxers.  One is 4 years old (and her name is Gina!), and the other is about 6 months old.  The 6 month old is not completely potty trained; therefore, I had to let him out many many times, and even then, he would still sometimes go to the bathroom in the house.

Result:  Around 3:30pm, after he had thrown up and peed on the kitchen floor, I knew I just had to get out of their house for a while before I totally lost it.  (Plus I was sick and felt like crap, which only made the whole thing worse.)  So I put them in their crates for a couple of hours and went home and chilled.  After that, I felt much better and was able to spend time with the doggies while being in a much better mood :-)

Day 53: Pop Quiz Fail

Today, I had a pop quiz in my cognitive psychology quiz.  I had read the chapter before class, but...

Result:  I got a 60 on the pop quiz.  Yep, that's right!  But you know what?  I'm just glad that I went to class.  I've been really sick the last 3 days, and I came really really close to going home even before my first class today.  But I persevered, drank some milk, ate some fruit chews, and I felt better after that. 

So even though I got a 60, I was proud of myself for even making it to class.  And all I can do is accept it and move on.  I don't think it's the end of the world, at least I hope not....

Day 52: Book Club Reading Fail

Today was the second meeting for the book club group that I am running for my school's skeptic/secular group.  I had said that we would discuss chapters 2 and 3 at the meeting.

Result:  I unknowingly assumed that the rest of the chapters in the book would be similar in length to chapter 1, which was about 20 pages.  At 2pm (the meeting is at 5pm), I opened the book, and I quickly realized that each chapter was 40 pages or more.  I only got through chapter 2.  At first I was like, "Way to go Gina, you didn't even read both chapters!"  But I soon just accepted it, and so we just discussed chapter 2.  So no biggie :-) We'll just discuss chapters 3 and 4 at the next meeting.

Day 51: New Food Day

Today, I had lots of new foods that I've never had before.  For lunch, I went with friends to a dim sum restaurant.  I had never been to one before.  I felt really overwhelmed at first, because there were lots of carts and food items floating around, whizzing past me.  Luckily my friends know their dim sum, so I wasn't too worried.  And even though I'm vegetarian, there was plenty of stuff I was able to eat.

For dinner, my boyfriend and I went to a Cuban restaurant.  I decided to try a tropical milkshake (hence the picture, it was the best I could do lol) and a dinner with rice, plantains, and veggies. 

Result:  All of the food I had was really good! The Cuban food was fantastic.  And who knew that red bean paste could be so tasty?

Day 50: Dying for Daylight

Today I spent the afternoon relaxing and basically doing whatever I felt like.  One of the websites from which I have bought some online games was having a sale, so I decided to try out some games and see if there were any that I wanted to buy.  One of the types of games that they have is hidden object.  I'm really bad at these types of games.  But I decided to give it a try so as to connect some new neural pathways in my brain.

Result:  The game was difficult.  Several times I wanted to just give up.  But I lasted the hour (they only allow you one hour for a free trial) and got through it.  It's definitely a good exercise for my brain, my patience, and my getting comfortable with failing!  I bought the game, but haven't played it again yet because my computer is refusing to download it right now.  I'm looking forward to playing it again :-)

Day 49: A Weird Day

Today was a very weird day, especially during the evening.  I met two friends at a Taco Mac.  Except I drove to the wrong Taco Mac.  My friend had even put in a text message which one they were going to, and I still drove to a different one.

Then, when I got there, my brain was just not working.  They would ask me a question, and I wouldn't understand what they said.  At least they said I was really good entertainment for the night!

Then, I had ordered a bean burrito.  I don't eat meat.  Two different employees repeated back to me "bean burrito."  I take one bite and think to myself, "I should look inside just to make sure it's bean."  It was beef.  Luckily I hadn't swallowed it yet, so I spit it out, and they got me a bean one.

Result:  I failed at a lot of things that evening, particularly with anything that required me to use my brain.  It was just really weird, and I was afraid to drive to Atlanta after that. (I made it there okay.)  And at least I was good entertainment for my two friends :-)

Day 48: Monkey Bars!

Today I went to my neighborhood playground with my friend and her 6 month old.  While they were playing on the baby swing, I decided to try out the monkey bars.  I used to be a pro at them when I was a kid and had my own killer swingset.

Result:  It was tough.  The first time I tried, I got about 2/3 of the way down.  The second time I tried, I got to the last rung and then fell off.  It was a challenge, and I failed twice, but I'm glad that I tried :-)

Day 47: Ask an Atheist Day

I am an officer for my school's skeptic/secular student organization.  Today we had an event called "Ask an Atheist Day."  The purpose was to help promote awareness to students that there is a secular organization on campus.  We also allowed people to approach us and ask questions, whatever they liked.  I really didn't know how this event would go.

Result:  It was a huge success!  Lots of people approached us and asked us about the organization.  Pretty much everyone that approached was in favor of our organization.  We got some questions about religion, our beliefs, things like that.  Some people stayed for quite a while because they had questions they wanted to ask or had things that they wanted to say.

Yay for fear of failure turning out to be a success :-)

Day 46: Overcoming my School Fears = Success!

Today, I had several things that I needed to get done for school.

*a lab report for cognitive psychology

*3 blog post responses for my Existentialism class

*a flyer for my school's secular campus group for an event we're doing tomorrow

All of these activities presented me with a large amount of fear.  I was afraid that I wouldn't do a good job on any of these things.  For me, if I don't think I'm going to do a good (good = perfect) job on something, I would just rather not do it.  I get no pleasure from doing things that aren't worthy of an A; I'd rather get a 0 on something than a C.  It's weird, I know.  But that's why I'm doing this year long project, ya know.

Result:  I completed all of the above things, and I think I did at least a pretty good job on them.  So yay for making myself push through my fears rather than just giving up and not doing them! :-)

Day 45: Judgment Failure

After experiencing a night of rectal bleeding (yes, I know that is very personal, but there's no way to beat around the bush on this one), today I went to my school's health clinic, where the doctor told me I should go to the emergency room to make sure that my bleeding was not internal.  After doing online research the night before, I was 100% convinced that I had a digestive disorder that was causing my bleeding.  100% convinced.

So today, I spent several hours at the emergency room (hence the bracelets in my picture) to find out the cause of my bleeding.  My mom went with me, which I definitely appreciated. 

Result:  I was wrong.  The bleeding was not caused by a digestive disorder.  It was caused by bleeding hemorrhoids.  I was certainly relieved by the diagnosis, but I was also embarrassed that my judgment was so completely wrong.  But the good news was that the experience made me realize that my mom really DOES care about me, even if I don't always think that she does.  :-)

Day 44: Sartre (Take Two)

Today, I decided to give reading Sartre a second chance.  Maybe I will have a better chance at reading his work and understanding what he is saying.  I have to post online a reading response by Monday morning for my philosophy class.

Result:  I read seven pages and reached the conclusion that I just do not understand Sartre.  And I do not think that reading him over and over will help me understand him any better. 

So instead of writing a reading response for my philosophy class where I try to sound smart and as though I know what I'm talking about, I decided to write an honest response.  They're graded on word length, not on what they say.  So why not just be honest?  Here's what I said:

******

Reading Sartre has proven to be much more difficult than I was initially anticipating. I felt frustrated from the very first page of our readings and wanted just to give up on reading the passages from our book. Instead of giving up, I decided to try to read him on another day.

Two days later, I have read only seven pages and am already wondering how I’m going to get through these readings. I feel as though the philosophers we’ve read thus far (Heidegger and Sartre) use words and phrases that I’m not familiar with. So I turn to the internet or books on Heidegger and Sartre in the hopes that I will be able to find some teachers or lecturers who are familiar with these philosophers’ works. Maybe they will be able to help me understand Sartre or Heidegger better. Instead, I become even more confused because it seems as though everyone has a different opinion on these philosophers and what they are trying to say in their writings. I am starting to come to the point where I feel as though one semester learning about these philosophers is not enough. Some people study Heidegger for twenty-five years; how in the world am I going to understand him in just one month? I am feeling as though Sartre is even more difficult to grasp than Heidegger. And I have no idea how to read these readings without becoming extremely frustrated for not understanding what in the world Sartre is saying.

******

I'm glad that I just decided to be honest in my post.  And who knows, maybe other people in my class will agree with me.  And if not, at least I'm being honest with myself for a change.

Day 43: Battle of the Sexes

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to play this game.  It is a rather sexist game in that it assumes men know certain things that women don't and vice versa.  But we decided to play anyways.  I was fully and completely ready to lose the game, instead choosing to focus on having fun with my partner.

Result:  We played the game two different ways.  And I won both times.  Oops!  It was fun :-)

Day 42: Sartre Fail

Today, I was going to read specific Sartre passages for my Existentialism class.  "Going to" is the key phrase here.

Result:  I got a stomach ache that lasted for 6 hours.  So instead, I read a different book (one that is not philosophically inclined and therefore much easier to read) and watched a movie on Netflix. 

Just thinking about the stomachache I had the other day has caused me to have a stomachache now.  Damn psychosomatic tendencies.  And I still have to read Sartre today.  Yikes.

Day 41: Studying Fail

Today, I had a test in my cognitive psychology class.  Since I spent the whole day yesterday playing Wedding Salon, I didn't start to study until 3 hours before the test.  I had wanted to re-read the chapters and go through the Powerpoints he posted from the lectures.  But I didn't do any of these things; I only had time to study the study guide.

Result:  I was nervous abou the test.  But I ended up making a 90 on it.  So although I failed at studying as much as I wanted to, I studied the right things and ended up making an A :-)

Kids, don't try this at home.

Day 40: Wedding Salon

Today I spent the day (yes, the whole day) playing the game Wedding Salon.  It's very similar to the game Sally's Spa, which I have played several times on my iPhone.  I really like these types of games, where you need to get as many customers into your shop as possible.  In order to do that, you have to fit them all in by completing certain tasks, such as doing their hair, making them cakes, picking out outfits, etc. 

Result:  I failed to get expert level on most of the levels.  But I gave it another try, sometimes several tries on the same level, and I reached expert on all but two levels.  One level in particular I was convinced that Expert level was impossible. But I kept doing it until I reached expert level.  So yay :-)

Day 39: Madame Bovary

Today I had planned on going to a book club meeting for the book "Madame Bovary."  The problem was that I hadn't yet finished the book. I still had about 40 pages left.  And I usually dislike going to a book club when I haven't completely finished the book (especially if it's fiction) because of spoilers.  But I decided to go anyways, even though I had failed to finish the book.

Result:  I'm really glad I went.  It's one of my favorite book clubs, and I had a lot of fun :-)  I did get some spoilers about the end, but it was worth the comaraderie.

Day 38: Dennett and Heidegger Just Don't Mix

Today, I was looking forward to hearing Daniel Dennett, a prominent cognitive scientist and well-known atheist, speak at Georgia State University.  Then I decided not to go so that I would be able to start and finish my philosophy midterm (due the next morning).  I figured it was the wise thing to do, at least in terms of hopefully getting a good grade on the midterm.

Result:  I could have gone to the talk, considering the fact that I didn't even start my paper until 10pm. 

Sigh.

Day 37: Playing Blokus

After an impromptu visit to the store to buy a game, Carey and I played this game today. 

Result:  I lost every single round of this game.  Every single one.  I can't say that I enjoyed losing (I didn't enjoy it), but I can't win at everything.  Right?

Day 36: Kitty Playset

Today, I sought to put together a kitty playset that I bought for my boyfriend Carey's cats.  He has 3 cats, and I decided to buy something for them.  Not only did I buy it, I also wanted to see if I could put it together.  I have always considered myself incapable of putting things together, even with detailed instructions.  So I considered this project to be a complete failure, thus perfect for my blog.

Result:  I put the whole thing together by myself! Carey only had to help me once, and that was just to tell me that I put a part on in the wrong direction.  I was way impressed with myself.

And as you can see, one of his cats liked it right away :-) Success!

Day 35: Understanding Heidegger in 4 Hours

Today, I sought to work on my midterm paper for my existentialism class for 4 hours before heading to Lawrenceville for the weekend.  Rather, I wanted to work on research for the paper that was to be due 4 days from today.

Result:  I got a lot of reading done, but I can't say that I understood most of what I read.  It seemed as though every author had something different to say about Heidegger and his masterpiece work "Being and Time."

I wonder if Heidegger even understood his teachings...

Day 34: A Coloring Mishap Perhaps

Today, I had some free time before my 2pm class, so I FINALLY decided to color my hair.  I hadn't done it in quite some time.

Result:  I'm pretty sure I bought the wrong shade of blonde.  Fail!!! I'm not sure yet how I feel about it.  But as long as Carey likes it, then I'll be fine :-)  And I am glad that I finally dyed it because I was in denial about how badly I needed to do it.

Day 33: A To-Do List

Today, I decided to create a to-do list for the things that I wanted to get done.  My goal was to finish everything on the list, although I wasn't really expecting to get everything done.

Result:  I got everything done except for one thing, and that includes one thing that I decided would be better done on another day.  I should have been more specific with one item, and I wish I hadn't included less essential items.  I had to stay up late in order to get as much done as I did, and I honestly don't know if it was worth it.  But it was fun challenging myself.

Day 32: Pop Quiz Galore

My cognitive psychology teacher gives pop quizzes that are worth 20 points a piece.  You never know what day he is going to give them.  So, if you want to get a good grade, you have to study before every class.  And usually he quizzes on new material that you will be learning that day, so you can't just rely on your notes; you have to read the chapter beforehand.

Today, I spent 2 hours before class studying for the quiz.  Why so long?  For one, it was a long chapter.  The subject was entitled Attention, hence the above cartoon--known as the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon, when you just can't quite remember something you are wanting to remember.  Also, we had to have two articles read for today's class.  These articles that he chooses are not simple; they are very complex and usually difficult to completely understand.  So I had to go back over the articles, read the long chapter, and take notes throughout the chapter.

I was very prepared for the possibility of a quiz.

Result:  There, of course, was no pop quiz today.  2+ hours spent studying for a quiz that didn't even occur.  But do I regret that time that I spent studying?  No.  Because, since we went over the material in class today, I was able to understand it better, and I was also able to ask questions about the material. 

All in all, it was, I have to admit, a good move on my part to study for this quiz that never was.